Friday, July 20, 2007

Day 330

Lets pretend it's still Thursday. I'm not ready for Friday yet.

Today I went forward and then backwards. And now I am off my face on drugs. My jaw is slack-assed and I am determined to post, because I need to post every day so I don't forget. "Shhh" I tried to go forwards all day and did things like ordered my food for the week, spoke to my beloved friend from London (for two hours), walked to B&Q and bought a pin board from Woolworth’s.

Then I tried to do a nice craft project and went dippety-doo. (My hand was just doing the "dippety-doo" action, but you can't see that, of course. It was like going down a slide after going up a little bit at the start. Up-and-then-down.) Then I got twitchy.

You try, try to go forwards and your head says, "NO! You shall stay in the dark." "Shhhh" And so I fell down and got back up again, and did some more, and then I fell down again, and got back up and did some more. What is a sucker punch? Feels like I was sucker punched. Like a big sucker that was punched. And then I got up again and now I need to sleep. "Tra-la-la-la-la, I dance in your face sucker punch. Me and my pills, they sucker punch you back."

Fight, fight, fight. So tired of fight, fight, fight. But 'we' must keep fighting, because then 'it' will go away. Or at least 'it' will be too scared to come back for a bit. Maybe 'it' will just put on a hoodie and walk away, far away...maybe she'll walk into the sea and drown.


Blogger MasterQ said...

I love it when you make perfect sense like this. Even on a good day I can't usually string the right words together to make enough sense to myself.

4:45 am  

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