Saturday, November 04, 2006

Day 76

The end of a hectic week and the end of the longest day known to man.

The dinner party went ahead as planned and 1 Diazepamela later, I cooked, covered in plasters - it was all good. I hope it was OK for everyone. I hope I was OK. The house also looks like a palace. It's only taken 3 days, but I've got it back under control again. I just hope I can keep it like this, for a while anyway.

I had a tough session with the Amazing Friday Counsellor today - well, yesterday now, and before that the doctors. We talked about increasing my dose of the Lustral considering the events of last night. I'm unsure about that at the moment because I was doing ok until last night. So, I have enough tablets to double it up if I feel the need and I have to monitor how I go over the next week or so and then decide. Some kind of control at least.

I also got another sickline. 13 weeks is a long time. Saying that, I can't believe I'm already on Day 76 documenting my recovery, it feels like only yesterday I was on day 30 or so - where did those 40 plus days go? Counting up the days like this seems very surreal.

I had to take the plasters off tonight, as soon as my guests left, because the wounds just keep on weeping unless you let them dry out in the air. I am presuming a night of peeling my arm/hand off the sheets is looming. Goddamit they (the sheets) are fresh on too.

My eyes feel like they have sand in them and look like piss holes in the snow - a good look I believe.

Goodnight Dear Diary.

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