Friday, October 20, 2006

Day 61

A busy day today. Counselling with the amazing Friday counsellor, and then meeting with ma and a wee boy that my mum used to look after in a shared care scenario. He's grown so big from the wee boy that wasn't the size of tuppence when he first came into our lives - he's 15 now, with a recently broken voice to match. We went for lunch and took him to the cinema to see "The Guardian", rather a good choice considering the cast. So difficult to choose a film that he would enjoy, but I think we managed it with rescue helicopters and thousand foot waves crashing over a giant screen.

A green sticker day today - so much so that I laughingly told mum this morning I felt like "London Rozza". I.e. grown up and utterly capable. Things have slumped slightly tonight into a more yellowish hue, but only because i'm pooped from walking the length and breadth of the city.

Annoyingly feeling the need for some male company this evening. I've been staving off these feelings for a while now, but some 'sin's of the flesh' wouldn't go a miss...singledom definitely has it's downsides. Akin to the mood du jour, i'm listening to some lonesome songs on the old itunes and clicking away at the old keyboard instead. No mention of double clicking any mice here....please.

Mum is still with me, trying to lessen the blow of extraction from the comfortable bosom of her house and re-entry into flying solo in mine. I imagine she will be here until Sunday, so that would put pay to any male suitors arriving on the doorstep - if there was a line up; not that there is...

Will download the goings on of the counselling session tomorrow - if I can make head and tail of it. Too tired to think at the moment and a suitable chick flick awaits my attention. Yawn.

But a greenie, nonetheless, yes indeed. Please let this be the way of things to come. Hilarious that I woke up this morning feeling excited but couldn't decide if it was indeed excitement, or a panic attack waiting to happen. Positivity feels so alien to me at the moment - one forgets what it feels like, and treats such unlikely emotions with the utmost of suspicions.


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