Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Day 24

This has been by far the loneliest time of my life. I don’t see people during the day – I am stuck out in a part of town where I am on my own as the mates that should be here aren’t. Just goes to show you can never rely on other people to formulate your life. It comes down to the same old thing – you do have to be self reliant to survive life, otherwise you just get let down.

I’m still undecided about going onto the other meds this evening. At this point I wish I could see into the future, but I can only go day by day. Hour by hour sometimes. Today I know I took the last Citalopram, and tomorrow I have to wait and see how I am to decide what happens next. I think I have to monitor how much additional support I need from the Diazepam over the next few days and if I’m taking more than usual – it would make sense to go onto more stable and non addictive medicinal support i.e. the tricyclic. That was my sis’ advice.

I am also seriously considering moving up near my mum. Today has been passable, but this evening things are starting to go for a burton and it’s getting harder and harder to keep going on my own.

On a positive note – I made it into town today and went to the library. Round of applause for the depressed, shaking girl…I also battled again with the bank regarding missing funds and yelled at the Sickness Benefit people because they neglected to pay my benefit out this week. Tomorrow I have to tackle the Housing Benefit Centre, as they’re still not paying out.

Yeah, keep on trucking…

Black, yellow, black, half yellow? Oh fuck it, it's black.


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