Saturday, September 02, 2006

Day 13.1

I cry. It is so hard to let the tears fall. To allow myself to feel the sadness and let it tentatively slide down my cheeks - its first outing to the world. And my awakening. Maybe that’s the key; maybe sometimes it is necessary to re-teach something its loveliness. Maybe one goes on blaming and holding the pain in higher regard than the goodness. Sometimes, the blaming is easier than the acceptance of things past – allowing yourself to make the mistakes you need to make to get to the stage you’re at. Allowing the mistakes to happen without getting out the eraser.

Tomorrow is an anniversary of mine. If I had let nature take its course – I would have been mother to a twelve year old by now. Instead I shall be celebrating my sister’s birthday.

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