Friday, August 25, 2006

Day 5

Do you know how difficult it is to carry a strawberry flavoured, perfectly frosted, cupcake through town in a wee brown paper bag? Well, I shall tell you. It is very difficult, very difficult indeed. I nearly had to yell out, “watch my cupcake” at several people who obviously missed the ‘personal space’ class when they were at school. Instead I resorted to the ‘don’t mess with my cupcake’ glare. Needless to say my cupcake and I are now both safely home. And cakey is only slightly rumpled.

I had my second dose of counseling this morning, and I rocked. Yes I did. Since writing this old bloggo I have been thinking maybe I should give it a bit of background. Maybe I should put the whole thing in context, as to date I don’t believe I have. But after my chat with lovely counselor lady today I don’t think I’ll bother. Unless of course I change my mind and then I will. Which I think I might just be about to…no I’m not. Dear God, make up your mind. I can’t tell which voice I should be listening to today.

Anyway, so said appointment went very well, and to quote the ultimate lady of daytime television – Oprah, I totally had an “a-ha! moment”. For years I have talked through my previous life with counselors. By previous life, I mean the life I had pre “breakdown” last year – not previous life as in reincarnation - although if pushed to question the latter, I think I might have been a servant in an old manor house somewhere in the bleak countryside in the late 1800’s. I perhaps think I would have been one of those really innocent looking characters who’s harsh, swarthy but actually a bit handsome employer takes advantage of in the scullery when one was washing through some smalls…Back to the topic in hand - for years and years, same old same old, over and over again. Never getting any further with it all, never moving on and never understanding why past stuff could make my head fall apart because I personally couldn’t see the connection. But not anymore. There is a new development and a whole new slant on the whole proceedings. We might actually mean I’m getting somewhere at last. Hurrah.

Today I have also reversed my opinions of reading star signs. As today mine reads “You might get temporarily depressed”. I think that is quite accurate.

I have also decided to attach a “Currently Listening To…” section into my blog. Probably for today only. Primarily because I think it is the wankiest thing anyone can attach to their MSN icon, email or anything else for that matter and I would like to take the piss out of it. I think people (must be the same people that annoyed me yesterday – they’re obviously everywhere) only do it to prove they listen to cool music. In fact I think they just lie about what they’re listening to so other people feel intimidated by their oblivious superiority.

I am Currently listening to: heat radio, non-stop, mellow heat tracks – apparently they’re playing my tunes at my rhythm. I love that. I have just enjoyed listening to Whole Again by Atomic Kitten rather immensely. Now KT Tunstall is bopping around wondering why “it means so much to me” and she thinks she could be a “tower”, “a big strong tower”, so I think that’s quite nice. For her. Is she a lesbian?


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